Doorways

by Jessica Hoffart

She wanders – wanders through hallways – wanders through rooms – checks door handles – looks through windows – through hallways – hallways to more hallways – that lead to other rooms – that lead to different houses – she wanders – down stairways – down spiral stairs – down – down – down – the stairs lead down – to a kitchen – to a living room – to a door – leads to a door – leads to a door that opens up – leads down stair – down a staircase – down a dark staircase – the darkness opens up – opens to nothing – opens then closes – closes in and closes – then nothing – it all falls away into warmth – into pillows – into a bed – falls into wakefulness

She wanders – wanders though hallways- wanders through rooms – wanders through kitchens – wanders through living rooms – wanders through bedrooms – over and over again the wandering – staircases and old furniture – wanders and searches – searches for something – searches for something she doesn’t understand – she wanders – down stairways – down spiral stairs- down – down – down – the stairs lead down – to a kitchen – to a living room – to a door – leads to a door – leads to a door that opens up – leads down stair – down a staircase – down a dark staircase – the darkness opens up – opens to nothing – opens then closes – closes in and closes – then nothing – it all falls away into warmth – into pillows – into a bed – falls into wakefulness

She wanders through a hallway- the hallway turns into a stairway- the stairway lead down- down leads the stairway to another hallway- leads to another room- to another house- the hallway leads to a different house somewhere miles away- she looks for something- looks for anything that will lead somewhere – she wanders down stairways- she wanders down- down – down – leads to a door- to a living room – into a bed room- she waits- looks in the closets – stands there and waits- waits to find something – she is not scared as she wanders – she is scared as she walks through another doorway- she is not afraid- is she afraid – is it okay that she is scared as she wanders the houses – is it okay that she is scared as she wanders the hallways – the hallways that lead to doorways – doorways that lead down to stairways- is it okay- is it okay that she is afraid as it all falls away into warmth – into pillows – into a bed –she is afraid as it falls into wakefulness

In wakefulness she wanders – not through hallways- not through doorways- in wakefulness she does not wander through darkness – she does not wander through doorways that lead to stairways – in wakefulness she is not scared as she wanders- in wakefulness she waits- she waits and wanders – she waits and wanders through the day – wanders through time and light – while she is awake she wanders and wonders – she wonders what and why she wanders in the darkness at night- she wanders and wonders what is beyond that next door- while she is awake all she thinks about is being asleep – she thinks about sleep and wonders what she could find- In wakefulness she wanders – not through hallways- not through doorways- in wakefulness she does not wander through darkness – she does not wander through doorways that lead to stairways – in wakefulness she is not scared as she wanders- in wakefulness she waits- she waits and wanders – she wanders – down stairways – down spiral stairs- down – down – down – the stairs lead down – to a kitchen – to a living room – to a door – leads to a door – leads to a door that opens up – leads down stair – down a staircase – down a dark staircase – the darkness opens up – opens to nothing – opens then closes – closes in and closes – then nothing – it all falls away into warmth – into pillows – into a bed – falls into wakefulness

In her sleep she dreams- dreams of walking hallways –walking hallways and looking for something – looking for something she is not sure of- something lost but not forgotten – in her sleep her dreams wake her to something deeper- she wanders – wanders hallways- wanders through hallways that lead to stairways – the stairways are long and intricate – the hallways she wanders always lead her to stairs- the stairs she always finds lead her down- down – down – the stairs she always climbs down lead to a darkness- and at that end- there is an end- sometimes there can be an end- the stairway is long and intricate that leads down down down the hallways she wanders- and in this end – in the end there is a door- the end leads to a door – a door that is closed – she sees someone- down the hallways she wanders she sees someone at the end- someone at that end looks small- down at the end of the hallway is a small someone looking through a peephole- at the door closed in the end she is the peephole- around the door at the dark end of the hallway is a small somewhat looking through her- darkness surrounding the doorway only light streams through the peephole at the end of the hallway- at the end of the hallway- she is the small someone- she is the peephole- she is the light

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